Tutor Rhymes With Torture
by wonderwall05
Summary: Sirius Black is Hogwarts hottest stud and can get any girl he wants. Encountering what he thinks of as a new species of girl will he live up to his name or is even the great Sirius infalliable? hehe dramatic much? R
1. Tall, Hot and Blonde

**Tall, Hot and Blonde**

Sirius Black strolled into the library. That's the only way it could be described, Sirius Black was never seen to hurry, his steps never quickened and he certainly did not run. Sirius Black was never fazed, he was cool and collected, and hell if he didn't know it. Girl's swooned as he walked by and there was no denying that he was gorgeous, an ideal specimen of male perfection. But the question on everyone's mind was: why the hell was he in the library?

Sirius Black was wondering the same thing; he wasn't quite sure how he had landed himself there. He was brilliant probably the best in his year but he had to be tutored. Why? Well possibly it had something to do with a prank that he had pulled but really was that a reason for this torture.

Apparently so, McGonagall wasn't very forgiving and she seemed to realize that detentions didn't affect him in the least. Sirius walked through the aisles looking for the spot reserved for such sessions. His eyes scanned the room passing over different people who perked up at the thought that he might be acknowledging them. Suddenly he backtracked his eyes scanning the top of a head of bright blond hair. He waited as the girl lifted her head and he grinned. The girl was beautiful and he wondered why he had never noticed her before, because she was his type. Tall, blonde, and hot. What more did a bloke need? 'Not much.' He thought his grin being replaced by a confident smirk. He strolled over towards her pulling out a chair and falling into it gracefully.

" Well hello there." He purred. The girl raised her head slowly regarding him coolly.

" Hello." She said curtly before returning to the massive book she was reading. Not one to be deterred Sirius continued on.

" What are you reading love?" He asked his voice maintaining that same pitch.

" What's it to you?" The girl replied rudely not even bothering to raise her eyes.

" Now, now don't be harsh." He said when the girl didn't reply he stretched out his hand and lifted the book to see the cover ignoring the girl's glare.

"Theories of Transubstantial Transfiguration." Sirius said surprised. " Sure you don't have a magazine hidden in there somewhere?" He teased expecting the girl to grin and pull out a copy of Witch Weekly.

" Actually some people have the capability of reading things that don't apply to Quidditch and gossip." The girl said her eyes scanning the page again.

" Really where are those people?" Sirius asked seriously which only got him another glare from the girl. " You know I was supposed to meet this geeky freak of a tutor but I decided to sit with you, it's an honor."

" Then when do I feel like I'm slowly being tortured to death?" The girl muttered.

" Didn't catch that?"

" Never mind. Are you Sirius Black then?" The girl asked.

" Of course I'm Sirius Black. Didn't you know already?" Sirius said completely shocked.

" I don't make a point keeping tabs on the fools in our school." She said.

" Fools? I think you're mistaken I'm not a fool I'm a Marauder."

" It's sad how you say that like it's something to be proud of."

" It is. Me and my friends pull off amazing deeds." Sirius said sticking out his chest.

" Yes I find suspending a boy in the air utterly extraordinary despite the fact that any third year could pull off the simple levitation spell." She said her eyes once again dropping to the book and Sirius was momentarily stunned.

" So do you know where you can find this tutor?" He asked trying to think of a new tact.

" The geeky freak of a tutor?" The girl said innocently.

" Yes the geeky freak."

" You're looking at her." The girl said a smile playing across her face.

**A/N: hehehehehe**

**I'm really unsure of how long this story is going to be so you know REVIEW and tell me thanks.**

**wonderwall**


	2. Geeky Freak of a Tutor

Geeky Freak of A Tutor

" What is she hiding behind you or something?" Sirius said stupidly leaning far in his chair to glance around the girl.

" You really are daft!" The girl exclaimed.

" I just don't understand where the tutor is." Sirius said.

" God do I have to spell it out for you?" She sighed.

" No. Seriously (at this point he chuckled) where is she?"

" Right in front of you."

" I don't see her."

" Oh my god do you have any brain cells or did getting hit by the Bludger completely wipe them out!"

" I resent that."

" Shut up. I'm you're tutor, okay? Seeing as how you couldn't figure it out." She said and he burst out laughing. " What's so funny?" She asked once again glaring at him.

" Hilarious joke but come on tell me where she is?"

" Someone shoot me." The girl said dropping her head into her hands.

" Now, now it was a good joke." Sirius said trying to be comforting.

" It wasn't a joke you twit." The girl protested hotly grabbing a piece of paper and shoving it at him. " Look here." She said pointing. " Sirius Black tutoring for Transfiguration at 7:30 with student tutor Calista Angelino!"

" Wait so you are my tutor?" He asked.

" Yes I am." She said slowly gritting her teeth.

" Well Calista pleasure to meet you." Sirius said smoothly offering his hand.

" I'm only here because I have to be." She said ignoring his hand.

" Doesn't mean you can't be pleasant."

" It already bad enough that I have to tutor you, let alone be pleasant to you." She said.

" You really have something against me, don't you?" Sirius asked.

" Well I have met you."

" What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius asked indignant.

" It means that I only had to meet you to dislike you."

" That's not fair I just met you and I don't dislike you."

" Well that would be because I'm sensible. I hope to have you hating me by the end of tonight." Calista stated.

" Why?" Sirius asked.

" Because you're annoying and you'll probably cease to be a bother if you hate me."

" That doesn't make sense."

" Let's just get studying okay?"

" Fine."

" What do you need help on?"

" I don't know."

" Oh great! Well look through this book and if there's something you don't get ask me."

" Alright." Sirius replied taking the offered book and scanning through it. " Nope I know everything."

" Okay I'll test you. When applying a vanishing spell on invertebrates what is the wand movement and the four cardinal rules that are needed to successfully displace the object?"

" Um…"

" So you know everything?" She said waiting for his response. " Didn't think so look a little closer to that book and if you need any help with the big words just ask." Sirius only stared at her as she returned to her own book. They sat in silence for a while Sirius flipping the pages slowly and sighing loudly but Calista ignored him.

" Your name is kind of strange." Sirius stated.

" Really why is that?" She asked quirking an eyebrow.

" Well Calista Angelino is a different name."

" It's Greek." She said slowly.

" Still they're odd names, were your parents obsessed with Astronomy or something?"

" I wouldn't be saying things about my parents obsession with Astronomy when you're named after the Dog Star." She paused here appearing thoughtful. " Quite fitting actually."

" Really why is that?" He asked imitating her.

" Because you are a dog."

" That's not very nice."

" I'm not trying to be nice."

" You know most girls would kill to tutor me."

" Yeah well those girl probably need the tutoring even more than you, which is saying quite a bit."

" I really am quite smart."

" Well you fooled me." The girl muttered returning to her book they sat in silence for a moment before Sirius spoke up again.

" Want to go to Hogsmeade this weekend?" He asked.

" You didn't catch the hints at all did you?" She sighed and he shook his head. "Okay I'll say this nicely seeing as how you obviously have some form of mental retardation. I don't want to go on a date with you, talk to you, tutor you, or be in your presence."

" Who said I wanted to go to Hogsmeade with you?" He asked raising an eyebrow and smirking, he couldn't wait for the flustered reply.

" I was mistaken then." She said smiling slightly and checking her watch. " We still have quite a while to go. Can you at least try to be productive?"

" For you anything."

" Boy you're a charmer." She muttered. " Found anything you don't understand?"

" Yes."

" What is it?"

" I'm not going to tell you that easily." Sirius teased and Calista sighed.

" Alright what do I need to do?" She asked playing along.

" Hmm go to Hogsmeade with me." Sirius said grinning.

" I thought you didn't want to?"

" I lied."

" Lying is a sin you know."

" Says who?"

" God."

" Huh?"

" Never mind you're obviously a Pureblood."

" So what if I am?" Sirius asked angrily.

" Calm down it doesn't matter really. Unless you're some type of insane blood purist."

" No!"

" Okay good."

" Why?"

" I'm half- blood."

" I'm not a blood purist."

" Then maybe you aren't as bad as I thought you were."

" Was that a compliment?"

" No!"

" I think it was."

" It wasn't it was a comment."

" Then why are you blushing?"

" It's hot in here I'm just flushed."

" Sure."

" Oh shut up! So what do you not understand?"

" Cross- species switches." Sirius said looking at the description in the book and he looked up to see Calista smiling. " Why are you smiling?"

" Because you just told me what you needed." She said sweetly while Sirius gaped.

" How'd you do that? Are you in Slytherin?"

" Slytherin please!" Calista said looking slightly disgusted.

" So Hufflepuff then." Sirius said teasing her and was delighted by the bright red hue that covered her face.

" No I am not in _Hufflepuff_!" She said loudly. " Not that there's anything wrong with Hufflepuff!" Calista stated hurriedly to a group of people who were glaring at her, Sirius only laughed.

" So Ravenclaw that explains the whole tutoring thing."

" I expect it would."

" You wiggled out of it this time but I'll get you." Sirius said grinning at her.

" I think you have an overabundance of confidence."

" Well I'm a Gryffindor."

" God I hope they all aren't like you."

" Nope I'm one of a kind."

" That's a relief."

" Oh don't lie you enjoy spending time with me."

" Black you think too highly of yourself."

" You said my name!"

" Your surname, yes; your real name never."

" Oh you'll say my name I promise you."

" Don't make promises you can't keep."

" I stick to my word."

" Well look at that times up. You can go along your merry way and I can finally be rid of you." Calista said glancing at her watch and beginning to pack up her things.

" Wait what?"

" You can go the session is over."

" But I didn't learn anything?"

" That's your own fault."

" Guess I'll have to try better next time."

" What next time?" Calista asked looking shocked and Sirius grinned.

"Oh didn't McGonagall tell you I need to be tutored for a month or so." He said.

" O god does she have something against me?" Calista questioned.

" I know this was just some desperate ploy to get to know me Calista don't even try to deny it."

" What the bloody hell are you talking about!"

" You love me. It's obvious."

" You are just infuriating!" She said loudly grabbing her bag and stomping away.

"Till next time lover!" Sirius called after her earning himself a rude hand gesture in reply.

**A/N: Like? Dislike? Love? Hate with a passion? Well I'll never know unless you REVIEW so hit that little button type a little something, something and I'll know whether I can go start working on my shrine or whether I should disappear never to write fan fiction again. This is quite important people. You hold in your hands the outcome of my life. Be careful, be safe and use protection.**

I love how my first review on this story was by someone telling me I had put under Spanish by mistake, cracked me up, just thought I'd point that out.


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